2 years ago today...

we lost our sweet little boy. Dave and I took the girls to the zoo yesterday and had a good talk about it. We can't believe that it has been 2 years and looking back at how difficult that time was for us both. I remember that day and it comes back to me usually at night when I can't sleep. They told us early in the day that he was terminal and that taking him off life support was the most loving option. We were instructed to go home and get our favorite outfit for him to be dressed in. We were rushing at home and I grabbed the outfit and started heading downstairs--when I slipped and fell spraining my ankle!! So I was in severe emptional and physical pain and couldn't walk...it was so awful. After Jack died we went home and sat in the dark not talking until the next morning...we were both just so traumatized. I proceeded to take 2 ambien and 2 zanex every morning and evening spending my days passed out in my bed unable to cope with the emotional pain. This lasted for 2 months until the pain got a little less intense and I was able to get out of bed. Every day got a little bit easier and I started being able to live my life again...focusing on getting pregnant again. And we did!! Focusing on our IVF cycle helped me stay healthy--no more prescription meds. Losing my baby boy has taught me so much about myself, what is important, and what life is about--life is about moving forward! Life is about making it through...we can't change what happens to us but we can chose how we can change to adapt to what happens. Love you Jack!! We never forget you and your sisters are being raised knowing they have a big brother! Love, mommy